"Lead paint: Delicious but deadly!"

(Remember when The Simpsons used to be really funny? Don't get the reference? That's okay, just play along.)

There's just so much to say about toys: most kids have too many, a lot of them are worthless junk, they often lack value or promote icky messages (see my aside below); the list goes on and on.

And then, to top things off, they're full of TOXINS! C'mon, now, these are products designed for kids — you know, those little creatures whose brains and bodies are still developing and who are therefore more susceptible to the effects of toxic chemicals. And did I mention that they really like to put stuff in their mouths? I'm on the Consumer Product Safety Commission's mailing list for toy recalls, and it's pretty appalling...."lead," "lead," "choking," "lead," "lead," "lead"....

And don't get me started on phthalates and bisphenol-A, which are only now coming under scrutiny but still abound in products-a-plenty, including teethers, bath toys, and bottles, among many other things.

So, we give our kids toys that may or may not be coated in delicious lead, creamy cadmium, and assorted hormonal and endocrine disruptors. We don't intend to, of course, but most people aren't aware of every recall, and not every product is tested. Besides, we assume that products will be safe — there are standards and regulations, after all — but considering the millions of toys imported from countless factories in countries halfway around the world, it is unrealistic to expect that every toy will be toxin-free.

But this really isn't about toxins in toys — there are plenty of more informed sources on that topic. It's just been on my mind lately as I recently had a few of my daughter's toys tested; her Mega Blocks (an older set, purchased about 5 years ago when I was a nanny) — the yellow one we had tested, at least — had high levels of lead (2.5 times the federally allowed amount, and about 16 times the amount now permitted in toys in Washington state due to the recent passage of a toy safety bill).

So, what to do? Well, one can (and should) do many things: be an informed consumer, buy locally from sellers who know exactly where and how the product was made, push for stricter safety standards...and...here's the really big one...buy fewer toys! Because the fewer toys you buy, the less you have to worry about exposing your kids to potentially hazardous chemicals. Think about how many toys you have in cupboards, buried in toy baskets and organizational units, and in closets. Rotate the toys you already have and voila!, it's almost like getting new ones. Most kids only have a few things they really enjoy playing with anyway.

If you're just itching to buy some new toys, stick with the basics since these allow for the most creativity and have staying power:

• Blocks
  
• Wooden construction toys(tinker toys, lincoln logs, and the like).
  
• Melissa & Dougproducts have been consistently toxin-free.
  
• Legos.Lego/Duplo are also toxin-free. Avoid Mega Blocks (yes, I know they're cheaper, but don't be tempted!).
  
• Art supplies.Easels, art tables, or good ol' pens/crayons and paper.
  
• Puzzles.
  
• Books.Lots of them!
  

(Something's) Gotta give

Those of us with kids, especially young ones, know how quickly the toys pile up. They overflow into every room of the house and the yard; we toss the less-favored or over-sized ones into the garage. Then a birthday comes along, or Christmas, and the piles expand.

If kids are showered with mountains of presents at every gift-giving opportunity, how can we fault them for expecting more, more, more? I would much rather see my daughter receive just a few nice gifts from her immediate family and closest friends. It makes my life easier since I don't have to find homes for a ton of new toys, and I don't have to figure out what to do with gifts from well-meaning friends that don't jibe with our values, or are just kind of junky/ugly/too-loud-and-beepy.

Just say Girl Power!
Now, let me get a condom out of
my boot before we talk money.

[I don't mean to sound like a snob, but there are some toys I don't want my daughter to have....say, anything in the I-want-to-be-a-prostitute-when-I-grow-up! category (aka Bratz dolls). I'm seriously not a humorless PC enforcer, but you don't have to be a feminist to gag a little when you think about what little girls are internalizing when they play with those dolls. But I digress.]

And, with fewer gifts, maybe I can adjust my daughter's expectations a little. Maybe, if I'm really lucky, she'll appreciate the things she has rather than just glancing at generic toy #526 then tossing it onto the pile as she shouts "Next!"

The complicating factor is that people really want to buy stuff for kids. I was recently invited to a friend's baby's birthday party, and the invitation stated "No gifts necessary." One of the other invitees, however, asked what I was going to buy (if anything); she felt that despite what the invitation said, one ought to bring a gift. I still opted not to purchase a gift (though I brought wine for the parents...I figured that they could use the booze more than their 1-year-old could use another push toy), but I couldn't help wondering if I appeared cheap, thoughtless, etc. as a consequence. Why does a celebration have to be about who buys what? And how do you opt out of the cycle of consumption (or at least scale back) without coming across as ungrateful or holier-than-thou?