"Lead paint: Delicious but deadly!"

(Remember when The Simpsons used to be really funny? Don't get the reference? That's okay, just play along.)

There's just so much to say about toys: most kids have too many, a lot of them are worthless junk, they often lack value or promote icky messages (see my aside below); the list goes on and on.

And then, to top things off, they're full of TOXINS! C'mon, now, these are products designed for kids — you know, those little creatures whose brains and bodies are still developing and who are therefore more susceptible to the effects of toxic chemicals. And did I mention that they really like to put stuff in their mouths? I'm on the Consumer Product Safety Commission's mailing list for toy recalls, and it's pretty appalling...."lead," "lead," "choking," "lead," "lead," "lead"....

And don't get me started on phthalates and bisphenol-A, which are only now coming under scrutiny but still abound in products-a-plenty, including teethers, bath toys, and bottles, among many other things.

So, we give our kids toys that may or may not be coated in delicious lead, creamy cadmium, and assorted hormonal and endocrine disruptors. We don't intend to, of course, but most people aren't aware of every recall, and not every product is tested. Besides, we assume that products will be safe — there are standards and regulations, after all — but considering the millions of toys imported from countless factories in countries halfway around the world, it is unrealistic to expect that every toy will be toxin-free.

But this really isn't about toxins in toys — there are plenty of more informed sources on that topic. It's just been on my mind lately as I recently had a few of my daughter's toys tested; her Mega Blocks (an older set, purchased about 5 years ago when I was a nanny) — the yellow one we had tested, at least — had high levels of lead (2.5 times the federally allowed amount, and about 16 times the amount now permitted in toys in Washington state due to the recent passage of a toy safety bill).

So, what to do? Well, one can (and should) do many things: be an informed consumer, buy locally from sellers who know exactly where and how the product was made, push for stricter safety standards...and...here's the really big one...buy fewer toys! Because the fewer toys you buy, the less you have to worry about exposing your kids to potentially hazardous chemicals. Think about how many toys you have in cupboards, buried in toy baskets and organizational units, and in closets. Rotate the toys you already have and voila!, it's almost like getting new ones. Most kids only have a few things they really enjoy playing with anyway.

If you're just itching to buy some new toys, stick with the basics since these allow for the most creativity and have staying power:

• Blocks
  
• Wooden construction toys(tinker toys, lincoln logs, and the like).
  
• Melissa & Dougproducts have been consistently toxin-free.
  
• Legos.Lego/Duplo are also toxin-free. Avoid Mega Blocks (yes, I know they're cheaper, but don't be tempted!).
  
• Art supplies.Easels, art tables, or good ol' pens/crayons and paper.
  
• Puzzles.
  
• Books.Lots of them!
  

(Something's) Gotta give

Those of us with kids, especially young ones, know how quickly the toys pile up. They overflow into every room of the house and the yard; we toss the less-favored or over-sized ones into the garage. Then a birthday comes along, or Christmas, and the piles expand.

If kids are showered with mountains of presents at every gift-giving opportunity, how can we fault them for expecting more, more, more? I would much rather see my daughter receive just a few nice gifts from her immediate family and closest friends. It makes my life easier since I don't have to find homes for a ton of new toys, and I don't have to figure out what to do with gifts from well-meaning friends that don't jibe with our values, or are just kind of junky/ugly/too-loud-and-beepy.

Just say Girl Power!
Now, let me get a condom out of
my boot before we talk money.

[I don't mean to sound like a snob, but there are some toys I don't want my daughter to have....say, anything in the I-want-to-be-a-prostitute-when-I-grow-up! category (aka Bratz dolls). I'm seriously not a humorless PC enforcer, but you don't have to be a feminist to gag a little when you think about what little girls are internalizing when they play with those dolls. But I digress.]

And, with fewer gifts, maybe I can adjust my daughter's expectations a little. Maybe, if I'm really lucky, she'll appreciate the things she has rather than just glancing at generic toy #526 then tossing it onto the pile as she shouts "Next!"

The complicating factor is that people really want to buy stuff for kids. I was recently invited to a friend's baby's birthday party, and the invitation stated "No gifts necessary." One of the other invitees, however, asked what I was going to buy (if anything); she felt that despite what the invitation said, one ought to bring a gift. I still opted not to purchase a gift (though I brought wine for the parents...I figured that they could use the booze more than their 1-year-old could use another push toy), but I couldn't help wondering if I appeared cheap, thoughtless, etc. as a consequence. Why does a celebration have to be about who buys what? And how do you opt out of the cycle of consumption (or at least scale back) without coming across as ungrateful or holier-than-thou?

Sneaky money

April has been a pretty frugal month, with few purchases other than consumables (food, personal hygiene products, gas). A handful of other small items — a birthday gift, a shovel for my garden — but that's about it. And for good reason: some large and unavoidable expenses in late March ate up most of our April income before we even had it. By mid-April, we were really scraping the bottom of the barrel (though we do not, in fact, keep our money in a barrel). Then, a few days ago, we received a check for a sizable sum of money that was owed to us. "Sizable" is relative, of course; for us, it was a nice chunk of cash. Now, this really wasn't "extra" money, and it was badly needed to help us through the rest of the month.

And yet....

Once it was in the bank and that balance figure was back to a comfortable level, I realized how quickly one's mind drifts toward dirty thoughts. Come on, baby, spend me...you know you want to. Example 1: I drove past a Target store and blithely wondered if there was anything I needed to buy. Before the check was deposited, and spending simply wasn't an option, I'm certain I would not have had the same thought. Example 2: We ate out tonight because I didn't feel like cooking. Nothing fancy (a generic Mexican food restaurant), but we both ordered margaritas, adding about 25% to our usual tab. It was easy to justify: we were treating ourselves after a day of yard and garden work. But I wonder how much produce I'll have to grow in my little garden plot to make up for the dinner bill? Again, pre-check, we would have eaten in.

What amazes me is how easily this happens even when I am trying to be vigilant about expenses, trying to evaluate needs vs. wants — trying to be a conscious consumer. No wonder so many of us are just squeezing by month to month (or worse, living on credit). Now, I'm not agonizing over the fact that we went out to dinner; I just want to feel like I'm making choices rather than blindly following momentary wants while under the illusion that money is plentiful. Because (not-so-)easy come, easy go...

The elephant in the room.

So, we've reduced grocery expenses considerably, we've cut way back on eating out, we're more conservative with our household energy use...in other words, the easy stuff.

Have you hugged your car today?

But what about that BIG energy consumer sitting in the driveway, you know, the one that accounts for our largest debt (after our mortgage)? Ah yes, the car.

We recently acquired a second car, and, as car purchases go, I think it was a pretty smart one (a 10 year old, very fuel efficient, low miles commuter car). My husband had been taking the bus to work for the past several months since his much older, less reliable car died a tragic death, and it wasn't an ideal situation for a number of reasons. Well, for my husband, at least — since I wasn't often affected by the lack of a vehicle, I was not as sold on the idea of a second car. "Why not just take the bus," I thought, "What's the big deal?"

Of course, I drive daily, even short distances that I could easily walk if I just allowed myself a little extra time. And I drive a larger "family sedan" that doesn't get the best gas mileage. We bought the car new about a year and a half ago after bad luck with our last used car. We shopped around and determined that a mid-size new car (with a great warranty) made sense for our family — and it might. Or maybe the $450 or so that we pay toward the car payment, gas, and insurance could be put to better use.

But am I willing to give up my car? Is it even practical? Toting diaper bag, stroller, and child on the bus isn't as appealing as hopping in the car. And the public transportation in our area isn't particularly convenient — I'd have to allow about twice the travel time. So, there would be sacrifices...or perhaps I should put a more positive spin on the idea and call them trade-offs. When I mentioned the notion of going back to one car, my husband said it seemed "extreme," which is kind of funny considering that for at least half of the time we've lived together we've shared one car (though much of that time was pre-child). I cannot claim to be ever-virtuous, however, as in the back of my mind I had the same thought. "Good lord, only one car!?" — talk about distorted ideals.

Here's my personal challenge for the month of April: I will drive only on Thursdays and every other Monday (I have ongoing commitments on these days that I cannot reasonably get to via bus/walking), and in the evenings, to simulate the experience of having one shared vehicle (assuming my husband would be willing to take the bus to work on those days should we decide to keep just one car). This will require some big adjustments on my part, particularly better time management, considering my tendency to cram too many things into too little time before rushing to my destination. But I want to try. I know I can make it work if I decide it's worthwhile — and I think it is. Check back at the end of April to see how I did!