Off the Wagon

May has been a little tough, not for any significant external reason, but mainly due to my own lack of resolve. I have an unfortunate habit of failing to follow through with ideas and projects, and I am determined not to let that happen with respect to my simpler living goals. I don't think of living more simply as a thing I am doing, but as a way of being.

So what went wrong this month?

For one thing, the weather has improved — which is great — and as a consequence I took advantage of more outdoor activities with my daughter. Often these were spur-of-the-moment: friend calls, says, "Hey, I'm going to the park for an hour, want to join me?" Saying yes often meant committing to driving since a bus trip or long walk requires prior planning and extra time. But saying no just on the principle of driving less would feel like an unnecessary sacrifice, like deprivation — which is counter to the goal of simple living. Living simply is supposed to make one feel more fulfilled, not less. And so, somewhat guiltily, I've been driving more than I'd like. I'm really not sure how to allow for spontaneity, when walking or busing necessitates planning ahead.

I also found myself eating out more this past month. Let me rephrase: I chose to eat out more this month — because it is about choices, after all. Why? Disorganization around meal planning, extra activities (see above) that cut into food prep time, out-of-town guests, laziness, feeling the urge to indulge...pick any or all of the above for any given dining excursion. And then there's the snowball effect: if I've already been "bad" and eaten out when I really shouldn't have, I (illogically) figure that the damage has been done and I might as well do it again. And again. Sort of like falling off the diet wagon.

Who knew that living simply would require so much discipline? Shouldn't it be simple?